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Current Issue of BDINews
Caring for the High Maintenance Child
By Kate Andersen.

Power Struggles.
June, 2018.
Dear Kate:
My six-year old son and I are constantly battling .......
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Power Struggles

Kate's Answer

Dear Sick of Power Struggles,

Phew! It makes me tired just reading your story. I hope you are ready to hear this because it might make you even madder. Remember that it takes two to tango. The problem is not just that your son is "very, very stubborn". He may indeed be a child who is low in adaptability and high in persistence, two temperament traits that add up to behavior that parents often describe as 'extremely stubborn'.

But the real problem here is that you BOTH seemed focussing on 'winning', rather than on working things out. All over a second helping of dessert! What is the big deal? Is he seriously overweight or something? Was there any real reason to refuse that dessert other than wanting to be in control? What worries me so much is the way you and your son escalated so fast from this rather minor issue (the dessert) to physical behavior that could have tragic consequences. You both got physical, in fact. So it seems you are intent on matching each others' behavior to prove who's in control. There are more effective, and safer ways, to establish your appropriate parental authority. I would like to congratulate you on sitting down to write for help. That's the first step.

The rest of this issue is devoted to the topic of "power struggles". I hope it helps!



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